Some notes for Ted Cruz on his new gig as chairman of the Subcommittee on Space, Science, and Competitiveness. After all, even a Harvard grad can’t know everything about this liberal agenda science stuff. So here are a few tips to get him started.

Dear Senator Ted:

  • The earth is round and revolves around the sun.
  • There is a difference between astronomy and astrology, as well as cosmonauts and cosmetology. Ask an aide if you have trouble remembering which is which.
  • The International Space Station is a truly international community of scientists who are seeking to further human knowledge for the entire world, not just the US. It doesn’t have a death ray.
  • The most famous astronaut currently is a Canadian, Chris Hadfield. Not sure if you want to embrace him as a fellow Canadian or not.
  • Most importantly, the aims of the committee are to further America’s scientific research and development. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.


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