How my muse gets my attention:
The Uncommitted Come-on
“There might maybe sorta kinda be a story in that little bit of an idea right there. You could maybe see it if you look at it sideways. Just saying. No? Okay, I was wrong. Never mind.”
The Vague Restlessness
“Sit down and write. You don’t know what to write? Okay, get some tea. Brush your hair. You still feel like you need to write? Maybe it will come if you eat that chocolate. Mmmmm, chocolate — where were we? Oh yeah, did you want to write something? I dunno, sleep on it. Something will come.”
The Snide Passive-Aggressiveness
“Oh, so now you want to write? I thought you didn’t want to write, because of the chocolate and the tea yesterday. You didn’t seem very interested yesterday. But now you’re ready for an idea? Okay, it’s all right. I can drop the other stuff I had planned and come up with an idea. Not a problem. I just thought you didn’t want to write, is all.”
The Inconvenient Whisper
“I know you’re working on SWOT analysis of the financial services industry that’s due by the end of the day, but I think you want to listen to this. Yeah, we got your plot, characters, setting, motivation, and pacing all in the starting gate, and” — drops voice — “I’m not sure how much longer I can hold them.
The Sharp Thump
“Hey. Yeah, I just thumped your head like it was a ripe watermelon. So sit down, get through the writing ritual, and get started.”
The Lapel Grab
“Holy Mother of God, start channeling RIGHT FREAKING NOW and don’t stop until I let you go! Go go go go!”
How does your muse talk to you?